Tying the knot with Liz’s Mom

Don't make your weddng a financial ball and chain

[June 1, 2010]

By Elisabeth Hooker, STCU education outreach officer
 
Growing up, weddings were more than just celebrations of love. They were a spectator sport.
 
My Mother sewed her first wedding dress in 1963 for a college roommate, and hundreds have followed. I’ve probably modeled more wedding dresses than Liz Taylor.

Attending a wedding with Mom is like shooting home video with Steven Spielberg. Each moment is analyzed, critiqued, and graded. She has the full catalogue of Brides Magazine, is on heavy rotation at the library for Martha Stewart Weddings and has taped every episode of TLC’s A Wedding Story.

We’ve all heard of $30,000 weddings – an amount that could easily cover the down payment for a house. Even in the Northwest, it’s easy to spend $15,000.

Mom says, “You are no more married at a $20,000 wedding than you are at a $200 wedding.”
 
No matter what you can afford, set a budget early and stick to it. Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding, but modern couples are covering more of the cost themselves.

Here are a few tips from my mother to you.

  • You don’t need a banquet hall. Consider a special location, like a river, beach or mountain. Pick an art gallery or a college hall – the options are limited only by the size of the wedding.
  • Select a location that is already decorated to save time and money.
  • Keep the ceremony simple and splurge on the party.
  • Pick affordable flowers and bring them from the ceremony to the reception. Arrange to take them to a retirement home after the celebration is over.
  • It’s nice to have a caterer, but not if the expense means you have to omit people from your guest list. Consider picnic baskets and buffets. Twenty years from now you will remember the people you loved who were there and not the avocado mousse.
  • Be creative about the cake. A talented friend might make the cake as a gift. Consider a cupcake tower, or several small cakes.
  • If you find exactly the dress you want for under $700, that’s good. If you find something between $200 and $400 that’s spectacular. Don’t rule out a vintage dress or a shopworn dress that can be cleaned and altered.
  • Spend money on things you’ll treasure, such as photography and videos. Favors for guests should be something they will use again.
  • If you register for gifts, select lasting items that will help complete your household. You don’t need to spend thousands to justify all the gifts you expect to receive. 

When my day arrives, a moment mom has been preparing for the past 29 years, it will be a celebration of a loving relationship. And love is something you can’t put a price on.